she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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