Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
