You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
