I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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