my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize