Non-Jews are for practice
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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