What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Send help, water and tortillas.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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