i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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