Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
