Non-Jews are for practice
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
