hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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