I must be too annoying 4 u.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Randomize
