i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
