He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
