Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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