I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
