It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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