What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
