things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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