he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize