Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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