I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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