It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
