This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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