I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
