Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
