This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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