That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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