I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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