Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Who died my cat blue again?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
