come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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