hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
