My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
