My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Floor bacon is actually really good
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
