I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
its not stalking. its research.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
