# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
