cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Boobs speak an international language.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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