We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
this will be a night to untag.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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