I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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