You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
