Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
high people should be assigned attendants
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
