We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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