watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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