Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
