Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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