i will never coherently bang her
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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