babies were throwing up all over the place
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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