you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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