Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
