I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
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Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
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I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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