Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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