I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Quick, to the slutcave!
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
