if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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