What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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