I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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