Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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