best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
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Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
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I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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