so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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