She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
